my old solitude; do anythin better than this.. crap again

WARNING: run-on sentences ahead, just stop and read.. its not gonna crash your headlight.

do anythin better than this.. crap again
so tired like him.. i guess its really good to play safe… i thought people will be true … i considered each of them genuine from the start but then they are starting to break me down.. i wanted to be fair but tears always haunt me … there’s no place i can hide and no one can really understand me… people knows me well … yes… well enough to pull me down and break me… i always wanted to smile, to just forget about the things i shouldnt worry about… yes its definetly right.. i know sometimes im that emotional but i dont know what it is.. maybe im damn not to see things clearly… its more than enuf to let me feel that i’m becoming stronger and true to my self… hope im right.
i feel so down as of the moment and i know that someday this is gonna be just a memory away.. faded…far enuf not to hurt me again.. but it will scar and can never be untold. and if somebody wasted his time reading this, hope he can understand me.. this crap is a dead thing..
this is just what i wanted to say at this moment …i already realized that i’m breaking my boundaries from the start.. nothing’s left to keep.. everything can return against me anytime they want to use it…
i have a big hatred towards my self …
if only..
i can do anythin better than this..
better than what im doing right now… dont be jugemental.. i wish you fortune and happiness in life…
i am ..
shifted..complicated… useless… ignored.. encapsulated by selfishness…
this is not me i know…mr. star